Funky Chuck

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest

When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home

If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank, by phone



Funky Chuck, Funky Chuck

Mess with him and you're a dead duck

Funky Chuck, Funky Chuck

Make him mad, your shit outta luck

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

Chuck Norris practices getting kicked in the nuts, for fun!

Chuck Norris makes onions cry

Chuck Norris gets marijuana high




Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a Cyclops

Between the eye

His tears cure cancer, to bad he’s never cried

Chuck Norris’ blood type’s AK-47

St. Peter’s too scared not to let Chuck Norris into Heaven




Chuck Norris don’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is

MC Hammer learned the hard way, that Chuck Norris “can touch this”

Chuck Norris’ daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris’ PC will crash




Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris puts the ‘h’ in Hero